Sex is delicate territory. No area of education has higher potential for
conflict and controversy than sexuality education.
Some
character educators may worry, "If we tackle a topic as divisive as this, will
we jeopardize broad support for character education?"
For
character educators to try to avoid sex education, however, is to ignore the
elephant in the room. In our hypersexualized culture, sex is everywhere. For all
teenagers, understanding their sexuality and making decisions about this area of
their lives is a key developmental task. Moreover, how we lead our sexual lives
is intrinsically a moral matter, since sex has profound consequences for self,
others, and society. Sexual decision-making is therefore a matter for character
education.
The
negative consequences of adolescent sexual activity are well-documented,
especially for girls. One out of thirteen U.S. teenage girls becomes pregnant
each year, and more than 400,000 give birth (Guttmacher Institute, 2010). In
addition, one in four teenage girls has a sexually transmitted disease (Centers
for Disease Control, 2008). Regardless of whether a pregnancy or STD occurs,
sexual activity on the part of adolescents is associated with poorer emotional
health such as lower self-esteem (Bearman & Bruckner, 2001) and higher rates
of depression (Hallfors, et al., 2004). Sexually active high school girls are
almost five times more likely to be victimized by dating violence than girls who
are not sexually active (Silverman, Raj, & Clements, 2004).
It's
no accident that for much of history, sexual self-control has been considered a
mark of good character. For adults as well as youth, sex is an area of life that
calls for guidance by virtues. Ethical sexuality (Williams, 2000) — that is,
exercising control of one's sexual desires and acting responsibly, with respect
for self and others — is therefore an important goal of character education.
Impact of the Sexual Revolution
The
challenges presented by youth sexual activity to families and schools do not
come out of a vacuum; they come out of a sexual culture that has changed
dramatically over the past half-century. The sexual revolution of the 1960s and
1970s advanced the idea that people should be free to have sex without marriage,
commitment, or even love. Aided by the birth control pill, the new sexual
ideology led to a pervasive liberalization of sexual attitudes and behavior
(Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, & Michaels, 1994).
In
1960, most adolescents entered adulthood (age 18) as virgins, most adults did
not cohabit before marriage, and the public supported the norm that sex should
be reserved for people who were married (Laumann et al., 1994). Today, most
teens enter adulthood sexually experienced (the mean age for both first oral sex
and first intercourse is now 16, with many youth engaging in these behaviors at
younger ages); most adults now cohabit before marriage; and the majority of the
public no longer agree that sex should be saved for marriage (Laumann et al.,
1994; Smith, 2011; Terry-Humen, Manlove, & Cottingham, 2006; and Thornton
& Young-Demarco, 2001).
One
of the consequences of increased unmarried sexual activity has been a sharp
increase in non-marital pregnancies and births. As reported by the ChildTrends
Data Bank (2012), over a forty-year period, the percentage of all U.S. births
outside of marriage increased almost eight-fold, from 5.5% in 1960 to 40.8% in
2010. By 2010, 73% of black babies were born outside marriage, as were 53% of
Hispanic children, 29% of white children, and 17% of Asian and Pacific Islander
children. In his book Coming Apart: The State of White America, Murray
(2012) reported that a rapidly rising percentage of working-class whites are
having children outside marriage, often in cohabiting relationships. In 1970,
only 6% of births to white women with a high school education were nonmarital;
by 2008, that figure had jumped to 44% of births to white women (Murray, 2012).
Increasingly, the men who father children out of wedlock no longer feel bound by
the norm that they should take responsibility for their offspring by
marrying.
Non-marital
births have negative consequences for both mothers and their children. According
to the ChildTrends Data Bank (2012) and Wilcox's Why Marriage Matters: Thirty
Conclusions from the Social Sciences (2011), women who gave birth outside
marriage had lower incomes, greater dependence on welfare than married mothers,
and less chance of ever marrying compared to single women who had not had
children. Children born to unmarried mothers were more likely to grow up in a
single-parent household, live in poverty, and had more social-emotional problems
than children born to married parents. When children of unmarried parents became
teenagers, they were more likely to have low educational attainment, engage in
sex, and have a child outside marriage. When they became young adults, children
of unmarried mothers were more likely to be unemployed, have lower occupational
status and income, and have more troubled marriages and divorces. Other research
reviews (e.g., Blankenhorn, 1995) have focused on the impact of growing up
without a father and have found father absence to be a leading predictor of
childhood and adolescent pathologies.
Not
all non-marital pregnancies result in births. After the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court
legalized abortion throughout pregnancy for reasons of maternal health —
"health" being broadly defined to include psychological and economic factors —
abortion became a readily available way of ending an unintended life resulting
from sexual intercourse. The national annual abortion rate soon exceeded a
million a year, with the U.S. teenage abortion rate eventually leading the
developed world (Nathanson, 1979). The degree to which abortions are followed by
"post-abortion syndrome" (guilt, depression, sleeplessness, loss of self-esteem,
etc.) among women and even some men continues to be debated. The 1970s also saw
the beginning of the rapid rise in sexually transmitted diseases, with teens and
young adults now accounting for nearly half of the 19 million new infections
each year (Centers for Disease Control, 2012). STD rates continue to climb
despite increasing promotion and use of condoms. Medical studies (e.g., Hatcher
et al., 2005) have found that condoms reduce but do not eliminate the risk of
sexually transmitted infections. Some researchers (e.g., Genuis & Genuis,
2004) have predicted that a majority of single, sexually active adolescent and
adult females will get at least one sexually transmitted infection during their
lifetime.
Other
fallout from the sexual revolution has included:
- a cluster of psychological and behavioral problems associated with youth sexual activity, such as a significantly higher risk of depression and suicide (e.g., twelve-to-sixteen year old girls who have had intercourse are six times more likely to attempt suicide than those who are virgins) (Orr, Beiter, & Ingersoll,1991);
- an increasingly sexualized media that promotes unmarried sex as normative and often uses teens and younger children in sexually provocative marketing;
- the growth of a depersonalized "hook-up" culture on college campuses and beyond in which neither party needs to feel any emotional involvement with the sexual partner (Grello, Welsh, & Harper, 2006);
- the injury done to women, who, accepting sex on male terms ("no strings"), have experienced mental health problems such as depression and STD-related health consequences such as infertility and cervical cancer (Eberstadt, 2012);
- a growing pornography industry;
- the abuse of children — children living with their mother and her boyfriend are eleven times more likely to be sexually, physically, or emotionally abused than children living with their married biological parents (Sedlack et al., 2010);
- heightened levels, among cohabiting couples, of conflict, violence, and depression and lower levels of commitment (Wilcox, 2011) and higher rates of divorce among married persons if they have cohabited before marriage (Kamp Bush et al., 2003);
- the cumulative damage done to marriage and family by these problems.
A
New York Times article, "The Face of Teenage Sex Grows Younger" (Jarrell,
2000), offered a concrete example of the impact of the current sexual culture on
children. The article quoted Dr. Marsha Levy-Warren, a New York City
psychologist, who said she sees more and more preteens who are dating as early
as fifth grade, becoming sexually active by seventh grade, and "feeling awful"
about having had sex too soon. A psychiatrist interviewed for the article
commented, "I see girls, seventh- and eighth-graders and even sixth-graders, who
have had oral sex fifty or sixty times" (Jarrell, 2000, p. 8).
Cultural
outcomes such as these have led a number of scholars to conclude that "the
large-scale behavioral and normative transformation in American sexual behavior
is implicated in the breakdown of family life in the United States, among other
social ills" (McLanahan, 2004; Wilcox, 2008).
The Benefits of Abstinence
One
could make a case for abstinence education based on the negative personal and
societal consequences of a permissive sexual culture. But most character
educators are likely to find it easier to advocate for abstinence education and
incorporate it into character education initiatives if they can articulate the
case for abstinence in terms of positive, character-related outcomes that are
linked to flourishing individuals and a healthy society. What does the research
tell us about the benefits of saving sex for a committed love relationship,
historically known as marriage?
Wilcox
(2008) cited numerous studies of abstinence pointing to benefits such as the
following:
- "Waiting until marriage" ensures that children will have two married parents. A large body of research (Wilcox, 2011) demonstrates that across socioeconomic levels, children are most likely to thrive when they have two parents who are married to each other and mature enough to raise children. The best way to ensure that pregnancies and births happen within marriage and to increase the odds that children will have two married parents who are committed to raising them, is to reserve sexual intercourse for one's marriage partner.
- Abstinence is associated with happier marriages. Couples who do not cohabit before marriage experience less marital conflict (Kamp Dush et al., 2003), are more likely to be faithful (Laumann et al., 1994), and are less likely to divorce (Cherlin, 1992; Kamp Dush et al., 2003). Adults who wait to have sex until they are married, and who are faithful to their spouses after marriage, report the highest levels of sexual satisfaction (Blanchflower & Oswald, 2004).
- Abstinence is good for parent-child relationships. Teens who are virgins are more likely to maintain close ties to their parents and abide by their values. By contrast, sexually active adolescents are more likely to distance themselves from their parents, spend less time with them, and reject their norms and values (Bingham & Crocket, 1996).
- Adolescents who abstain from sexual activity are less likely to become enmeshed in a "problem behavior syndrome." Abstinence is associated with more virtuous behavior among teens, particularly boys. Teenage virgins are more likely to avoid alcohol, drugs, delinquency, and crime (Armour & Haynie, 2007), whereas teenage sex increases the likelihood of other risk-taking such as substance abuse and antisocial behavior.
- Abstinent youth do better in school. Students who are not sexually active get better grades, have higher educational goals, and are less likely to drop out (Schvaneveldt, Miller, Berry, & Lee, 2001; Upchurch & McCarthy, 1990).
One
could acknowledge that abstinence is associated with these positive outcomes but
still wonder whether abstinence plays a causal role. One study (Grello et al.,
2006), for example, suggested that depression led teenage girls to engage in
premarital sex rather than the other way around. Wilcox (2008) noted that some
studies had sought to address the challenges of clarifying causation. For
example, Hallfors and colleagues (2004) found that among teen girls, depression
was not consistently followed by sexual activity, whereas sexual activity was
associated with subsequent depression.
Does Abstinence Education Work?
One
can reasonably conclude from the existing research that abstinence has benefits
for youth, families, and society. If that is so, then the next question is, can
schools educate for abstinence effectively? And which is more effective in
reducing teen sex and its negative consequences: abstinence education (which
teaches the dangers of premarital sex for oneself, one's partner, and children
and the advantages of reserving sex for the committed relationship of marriage)
or comprehensive sex education (which purports to teach both abstinence and
condom use)?
Fundamentally
different philosophies underlie these two approaches. Comprehensive sex
education teaches that abstaining from sexual intercourse is the only 100%
effective method of avoiding pregnancy and STDs, but is morally neutral about
premarital sex itself and teaches students how to "responsibly" use
contraception to reduce the risk of pregnancy and disease if they do have sex.
("Risk reduction" has replaced previous language about "safe sex," which was a
medically inaccurate claim). By contrast, abstinence educators promote risk
avoidance rather than risk reduction, encouraging youth to avoid all sexual
activity outside of marriage (including oral and anal sex as well as vaginal
intercourse). They argue that being responsible means not risking the harms to
self or others involved in premarital sexual activity, and that students should
be taught that condoms don't make sex physically safe (pregnancy and sexually
transmitted infections can still occur) or emotionally safe (there is no condom
for the heart). In its espousal of risk avoidance, abstinence education takes an
approach similar to that of other areas of health and wellness education such as
drug education. Health educators, recognizing that illegal drugs are harmful to
self and society, teach their students all the reasons why they should avoid
their use and don't teach them how to "reduce the risks" if they decide to do
drugs. Because abstinence education encourages students to make sexual choices
that are objectively in their best interest and the best interest of society, it
is the approach most aligned with character education.
What
does the research show about the effectiveness of abstinence education and
comprehensive sex education in reducing the problems associated with youth
sexual activity? Different reviews of the research have reached different
conclusions. In his monograph, "A Scientific Review of Abstinence and Abstinence
Programs," Wilcox (2008) reported that four major reviews of research (DiCenso,
Guyatt, Willan, & Griffith, 2002; Kirby, 2001; Manlove, Ryan, &
Franzetta, 2003; Scher, Maynard, & Stagner, 2006) on abstinence education
and comprehensive sex education found no consistent evidence that abstinence
education influenced the sexual behavior of adolescents. For example, one review
found that, on average, abstinence programs "do not delay the initiation of
sexual intercourse among adolescents" (DiCenso et al., 2002, p.6). However,
three out of four of these same reviews also concluded that most comprehensive
sex education programs also fail to delay the onset of sexual intercourse among
teens (DiCenso et al., 2002; Kirby, 2001; Scher et al., 2006).
In
Wilcox's 2008 survey of abstinence education programs, he found a growing number
of exceptions to the general pattern of no significant impact. He identified
"nine credible peer-reviewed articles and one unpublished study which suggested
that particular abstinence education programs or initiatives connected to public
schools have succeeded in influencing adolescent sexual behavior" (Wilcox, 2008,
p. 19). For example, one study of a community-wide abstinence program in Monroe
County, New York found that pregnancy rates among teenagers aged fifteen to
seventeen declined faster in Monroe County than in similar counties in New York
not exposed to an abstinence campaign (Doniger, Riley, Utter, & Adams,
2001). Another study of the high school curriculum "Sex Can Wait" found that
students experiencing this program were more likely to remain virgins and to
have abstained from sex in the past thirty days (Denny, Young, Rausch, &
Spear, 2002). A study of 550 seventh-graders in Virginia found that students who
had an abstinence curriculum called "Reasons of the Heart" were about 50% less
likely to lose their virginity one year after the program than students
receiving the state's generic family life education program (Weed et al., 2008).
In Philadelphia, sixth- and seventh-grade African-American students
participating in the "Making a Difference" abstinence program were more likely
to delay sexual activity than same-age students exposed to a comprehensive sex
education curriculum, and this program effect was still evident two years later
(Jemmott, Jemmott, & Fong, 2006).
Wilcox
(2008) noted that effective abstinence programs had one or more of the following
features: they sustained contact with students over a longer period of time;
connected them with young adults and peers who were positive role models for
abstinence; helped them see how avoiding sexual involvement would aid them in
achieving their future goals; fostered a sense of responsibility for children
that one might bring into the world; engaged students in community service; and
recruited local media, youth organizations, and religious institutions as
partners in reinforcing the abstinence message. By contrast, abstinence programs
found to be ineffective typically lacked the programmatic features
characterizing effective interventions.
Weed
(2009), in "Another Look at the Evidence," examined the relative impact of
abstinence education and comprehensive sex education (CSE), using criteria such
as "sustained results" and "broad-based impacts" (those impacts affecting all
program participants, not just subgroups). He first applied these criteria to
the 115 evaluation studies of comprehensive sex education summarized in Emerging
Answers 2007 (Kirby, 2007), published by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen
and Unplanned Pregnancy. He contrasted the report's claim that two-thirds of the
comprehensive programs had "positive behavior effects" with the following
findings:
- No school-based comprehensive sex education program (which included instruction in how to use condoms) resulted in a decrease in teen pregnancy or STD rates for any period of time.
- Only one comprehensive sex education program delayed the onset of teen sexual intercourse for twelve months for all subgroups.
- In only three of the 115 studies did the comprehensive sex education program increase frequency of condom use over the twelve-month period.
In
the same paper, Weed (2009) analyzed a second oft-cited report on comprehensive
sex education programs, What Works 2008: Curriculum-Based Programs That
Prevent Teen Pregnancy (National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned
Pregnancy, 2008), that listed twenty-eight programs having "the strongest
evidence of success." He
found that:
- Twenty of the twenty-eight programs did not even measure rates of teen pregnancy as an outcome.
- Of the eight programs that did measure pregnancy outcomes, only three reduced pregnancy rates for up to twelve months, and all three of those were community-based rather than school-based programs. (Two involved students in community service, and the other program was based at a community medical clinic.)
- No school-based comprehensive sex education programs reported reduced teen pregnancies for any time period.
Weed
(2009) agreed with Wilcox (2008) that the number of rigorous abstinence
education studies is limited but that "a pattern of evidence is emerging that
indicates well-designed abstinence education programs can be effective" (Weed,
2009, p. 2). He cited three programs that achieved "sustained impact." "Heritage
Keepers" and "Reasons of the Heart" reduced the number of teens who became
sexually active by about one-half, twelve months after the program. The "Making
a Difference" program achieved significant reductions in teen sexual activity
twenty-four months after the program. Several studies reviewed by Weed also
found that abstinence education, contrary to what is sometimes claimed, did not
decrease condom use among teens who later became sexually active (Weed, 2009).
Because
the "Heritage Keepers" abstinence education program was selected for inclusion
in the U.S. Health and Human Services (HHS) publication, "Evidence-based
Programs" (2012), its methodology merits description. Weed, Erikson, and Olson
(2011), in their article, "Testing Program Impact and a Predictive Model: An
Evaluation of the Heritage Keepers Abstinence Intervention," described this
program as a 450-minute interactive curriculum for middle and/or high schools.
It is presented in forty-five minute class periods over ten sequential school
days or in ninety-minute sessions for five consecutive school days. The
curriculum articulates benefits of sexual abstinence in terms of immediate
risks, such as unwanted pregnancy and STDs, and in terms of helping youth
prepare for family formation in the future.
Weed
and colleagues emphasized that scientifically derived "cognitive mediators,"
believed to be causal mechanisms affecting teen abstinence, guided the
development of the objectives and content of the Heritage Keepers lessons. For
example, the curriculum addresses common "justifications for sex" (one cognitive
mediator) by listing typical reasons teens give for initiating sex and by
providing alternative arguments. Students practice these arguments in directed
role play. They also take turns in role plays in which they alternate playing
someone engaging in sex outside marriage, someone effectively resisting those
arguments, and a third person encouraging the resistance. These exercises are
designed to increase "abstinence efficacy" (a second cognitive mediator). The
program emphasizes the "future impact of sex" (a third mediator) through
interactive activities that help students make a personal connection between the
possible consequences of sexual activity and the plans they have for their
future. They are also given data about the benefits to the couple and any
children they may have and about the benefits of forming and raising a family
within a long-term legal and ethical commitment. This fosters the development of
students' "abstinence values" (a fourth cognitive mediator) by promoting class
discussions differentiating between short-term infatuation and lasting love.
Heritage Keepers teachers are selected on the basis of their ability to relate
well with students, and their belief in and commitment to live by the message
they present (Weed, Ericksen, & Olson, 2011).
Abstinence
education advocates drew encouragement from data reported by Santelli and
colleagues (2004) showing that the percentage of sexually active teenage girls
ages fifteen to nineteen fell significantly, from 50.6% in 1991 to 42.7% in
2001. According to the bi-annual Youth Risk Behavior Survey of the Centers for
Disease Control (CDC) (2011), the percentage of all high school students who
said they had never had sexual intercourse became a majority (54.4 percent) in
2001 for the first time in twenty-five years. As of 2011, CDC data showed that
high school virgins were still a slight majority.
Sexual Behavior Among College-Age Students
If
refraining from sexual activity outside marriage has benefits for partners,
children, and society, and well-designed abstinence education works with middle
and high schoolers, it makes sense to ask what can be done to encourage sexual
restraint beyond high school. What are the challenges presented by the
college-age years and the possibilities for promoting ethical sexuality at that
level?
The
negative influence of contemporary culture on young adults' values and
character, including their sexual attitudes and conduct, was the subject of the
book, Lost in Transition: The Dark Side of Emerging Adulthood (2011), by
University of Notre Dame sociologist Christian Smith and his research team.
Smith acknowledged some positive trends in youth character: teen pregnancies and
abortions have declined since the early 1990s, the percentage of young persons
starting and finishing college has increased, and youth as a whole are less
prejudiced against people of other races and ethnicities than earlier
generations. (These positive developments are documented by the scholar Jeffrey
Arnett his 2004 book, Emerging Adulthood.) However, Smith's research —
based on in-depth interviews conducted in summer 2008 with a nationally
representative sample of 230 young adults, ages eighteen to twenty-three — found
evidence of a darker side of emerging young adult character.
Lost
in Transition
identified six "macrosocial changes," building over the past several decades,
that Smith believes have combined to dramatically alter the experience of life
between eighteen and thirty: (1) the extension of formal schooling into the
twenties and the consequent postponement of entry into careers; (2) the delay of
marriage; (3) a changing national and global economy that has replaced the
prospect of stable careers with frequent job changes, a need for ongoing
training, and a heightened sense of insecurity, all contributing to a general
disposition in young adults to maximize options and postpone commitments; (4)
the willingness and ability of many parents to support their children well into
their twenties and even thirties, thus enabling them to take a long time to
settle down into full adulthood; (5) readily available birth control
technologies that have severed the link between sex and procreation and thereby
fostered uncommitted sexual relationships; and (6) postmodernism, a philosophy
that has promoted subjectivism (there is no objective truth) and moral
relativism (what's moral depends on your point of view), both of which now
thoroughly permeate the educational ethos, mass media, and youth and adult
culture. As a result of these six converging cultural changes, the transition to
adulthood today, in Smith's judgment, is significantly more protracted, complex,
self-absorbed, anxiety-burdened, and dangerous.
Smith
reported the following findings, based on three-hour interviews with each of his
230 subjects:
- Sixty percent are "moral individualists" who believe that a value such as honesty is a personal choice rather than a moral obligation. Half of these moral individualists are "strong moral relativists" who believe that there are no definite rights and wrongs for everybody. When asked, "Can you tell me about a specific situation you've been in recently where you've been unsure of what was right and wrong?", only a third could do so.
- When asked, "What would living the good life look like to you?", 54% of respondents said they would be happier if they could buy more things. Only one-quarter spoke of wanting to help others or being a positive influence in others' lives.
- Nearly half (47%) of respondents admitted to binge drinking sometime during the two weeks prior to the interview.
- Sixty-nine percent of respondents were apolitical, having either no knowledge of or interest in politics. Only 4% appeared seriously interested in or engaged in politics. Most contributed neither time nor money to charitable causes or community service.
- The typical never-married, 18- to 23-year-old has had three oral sex partners and three sexual intercourse partners. 65% percent say they have had intercourse many times. Nearly six in ten express at least some regrets about their sexual experiences.
In
the chapter, "The Shadow Side of Sexual Liberation," Smith commented, "All is
not well among the emerging adults who inherited the sexual revolution launched
by their parents and grandparents in the 60s and 70s. A lot, though not all, of
emerging adults today are confused, hurting, and sometimes ashamed because of
their sexual experiences played out in a culture that told them simply to go for
it and feel good" (Smith, 2011, p. 193).
Smith
argued that these aspects of young adult character are, to a great extent,
rooted in the social institutions that form our young:
Poor
moral reasoning comes significantly from poor teaching of thinking skills in
schools, families, religious communities, sports teams, and other
youth-socializing settings. Damaging sexual experiences have connections to
things like the way colleges and universities are run and the lifestyle scripts
disseminated by advertising and the mass media. Mass consumer materialism is
deeply rooted in the structure of the American capitalist economy and the
advertising industry. Intoxicating habits have much to do with the financial
motives of the alcohol industry. And disconnection from civic, communal, and
political life has something to do with the many real dysfunctions of American
politics and the lure of private, mass consumerist, media-stimulated lifestyles.
(Smith,
2011, p. 233)
Forty-Year Trends in the Life Goals of College Freshmen
Smith's
study of young adults does not attempt to make comparisons with previous
generations, but another ongoing research project enables us to do so. For more
than forty years, the Higher Education Research Institute at the University of
California at Los Angeles (UCLA) has surveyed entering freshman at hundreds of
four-year public and private colleges and universities. This research
institution has published each year's results in a report called The American
Freshman (Pryor, Hurtado, DeAngelo, Palucki Blake, & Tran,
2010).
- In 1970 only about a third (36%) of all freshmen said that it was "essential or very important" for them to "become very well off financially." By 2010, however, that percentage had risen to more than three-quarters of all freshmen (77%).
- In 1970, more than three-quarters (79%) of college freshmen said that "developing a meaningful philosophy of life" was essential or very important. By 2010, however, that figure had fallen to less than half of entering freshmen (47%).
- In 1970, nearly six in ten (57%) of college freshmen said it was essential or very important to "keep up to date with political affairs." By 2010, only one-third (33%) said that being politically informed was important to them.
- In 1974 (the first year the UCLA survey included this item) 44.3% percent of entering freshmen "agreed strongly or somewhat" with the statement, "If two people really like each other, it's all right for them to have sex even if they have known each other for only a very short time." Student agreement with this statement rose to a high of 50.6% in 1987, then declined to a low of 38.8% in 1999, then rose again to 44.9% in 2005 (the last year the question was asked).
These
forty-year trends among American college freshmen (Pryor, Hurtado, Saenz,
Santos, & Korn, 2007) — rising materialism, declining interest in deeper
life questions, growing indifference to public affairs, and widespread (though
fluctuating) approval of casual sex — align strongly with Lost in
Transition's 2011 portrait of emerging adults.
What Can Colleges Do to Encourage Sexual Restraint?
In
the face of these formidable challenges, what steps might colleges and
universities take to foster mature character in general and better sexual
decision-making in particular? For starters, they might make character
development an institutional priority. A position paper by the Character
Education Partnership, "Character Development During the College Years: Why It's
Crucial and How It Can Be Fostered" (2011), described a range of ways that both
private and public universities and colleges have sought to promote character
development, including programs that foster academic integrity, service
learning, and commitment to core ethical values. The John Templeton Foundation's
Colleges That Encourage Character Development (1999) described ten
categories of college initiatives aimed at fostering ethics and character
throughout campus life.
Consider
one such initiative aimed specifically at encouraging students to adopt a
healthy lifestyle. In the 1990s, Boston College initiated a program called "48
Hours." A weekend away from campus, 48 Hours was designed to help students make
a wholesome transition from home to college culture. Father Tom Pella, college
chaplain, explained:
At
Boston College, most of our students were the academic stars, presidents of
student government, and the like. When they come here, they're just one of many
stars, and that's often hard on their self-esteem. Because they're feeling bad
about themselves, they get into destructive patterns — alcohol abuse and sex,
for example — to try to fit in with their college peers. With the 48 Hours
weekend, we're trying to head that off. (Lickona, 1998, p. 53)
The
program includes a "vision talk" about leading a life that is guided by the
spiritual principles of St. Ignatius, but the program's emphasis is not
religious. Later, there are opportunities for retreats where the focus is on
prayer, worship, and deepening one's relationship with God. The 48 Hours program
is aimed at helping students initiate friendships with student leaders,
professional mentors, and other classmates that will be a support system through
their college years. The focus is on leading a constructive and balanced life
and, in particular, on examining both the positive and negative influences of
students' peer culture. During the weekend, each student is asked to examine his
or her own life, set a personal goal related to an important life issue, and
plan three action steps for achieving it. This is called a "covenant with
oneself." Later in the freshman year, there are reunions and other events to
help students follow through on their goals. Since the program began, the number
of participating freshmen has grown from 50 to more than 900, nearly half the
freshman class.
A
second approach to encouraging sexual restraint during the college years would
be to call attention to the benefits of saving sex for a truly committed love
relationship such as marriage. Consider how much is done now to promote condom
use to try to reduce the risks of uncommitted sex. Given most institutions'
official espousal of "diversity," colleges would do well to diversify their
messages about sex by including something about the benefits of a chaste life
style. Here are nine rewards of waiting that could be placed in student health
centers and dorms:
The Rewards of Waiting
- Waiting will make your dating relationships better. You'll spend more time getting to know each other.
- Waiting will help you find the right mate — someone who values you for the person you are.
- Waiting will increase your self-respect.
- Waiting will gain the respect of others.
- Waiting teaches you to respect others (you'll never pressure anyone).
- Waiting takes the pressure off you.
- Waiting means a clear conscience and peace of mind (no conflicts, no regrets).
- Waiting means a better sexual relationship in marriage (free of comparisons with other premarital partners, and based on trust).
- By practicing the virtues involved in waiting — such as faithfulness, self-control, modesty, good judgment, courage, and genuine respect for self and others — you're developing the kind of character that will make you a good marriage partner and attract the kind of person you'd like to marry (Napier, 1996, pp. 177-184).
Some
campuses now use Valentine's Day to engage students in reflecting on the 3 Rs —
"Respect, Responsibility, and Romance." Typically, a panel encourages college
students to consider, "What kinds of relationships have the potential to lead to
real love? What kinds of relationships help you find the person you'd like to
marry?" Such discussions can also be given a religious dimension, even on a
secular campus. Link: The College Magazine carried an article titled "God
on Campus" (Lickona, 1998) which described a Valentine's Day event at liberal
Wellesley College. More than 50 students turned out for an evening symposium,
"God's Perspective on Love, Sex, and Marriage" sponsored by Real Life. The goal
of the symposium was to introduce students to God's Word on dating, mating, and
cohabiting. The evening included talks by married couples who had waited to have
sex and student couples who were dating but not engaging in sexual intimacy
(Lickona, 1998, p. 39-55).
Finally,
colleges would do well to give attention to the options they provide in terms of
on-campus living arrangements. The best-selling novelist Tom Wolfe observed in
an interview that the widespread, almost overnight change to co-ed dorms after
the sexual revolution hit — putting young men and women in close, 24-hour
proximity at a time when their hormones are at full flood — would have been
considered cultural insanity only a few years before. Co-ed dorms, combined with
the total abandonment of the concept of in loco parentis, fostered easy
and promiscuous sex by signaling institutional permissiveness toward such
behavior. This led not only to much sexual activity in dorms but often to
blatant disregard for other people's rights and moral sensibilities. Dorm
students, even at ostensibly religious institutions, began to report being
repeatedly locked out of their room because their roommate had an overnight
guest — or even waking up to find their roommate in bed with his or her sexual
partner.
Colleges
could at least offer students the choice of living in a single-sex dorm. In
Campus Rules and Moral Community, Hoekema (1994) reported a survey in
which about half of responding campuses said they provide the choice of
single-sex dorms. In some places, more than half of students select single-sex
residences.
Conclusion
Before
the sexual revolution, the societal norm was to treat sex as a serious matter,
requiring prudent moral boundaries that channel this powerful drive in ways that
benefit, rather than hurt, the individual, family, and society. More recently,
popular culture has made sex seem like a casual thing. But in truth, as growing
evidence makes clear, sex is an act that is full of consequences. That is a good
reason to save it for marriage, and a good reason for character educators to
support that goal.
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